Livin' Wild & Free...

As a lot of my family knows, ever since I was in middle school, I LIVED and BREATHED my dream of modeling. I watched what I ate down to each crumb, only drank water, did about 200 crunches a day, watched every single Victorias Secret Fashion Show and did my best to make sure I looked as perfect as I could...for YEARS! In fact, well into my 20's and even still to this day to some extent. I can firmly say I never had any type of eating disorder nor would I even dare go to that extent but I cried the day the scale hit 110lbs. Needed to cut back even more...this was who I needed to be.

not so much anymore...

Believe it or not, Crystal Renn is a plus-sized model. I know now that I would much rather look like her and be happy than stress about every meal to look like Miranda Kerr. I'm 27, I have realized that I was trying so SO hard in the past that I really missed out on a lot and wasted so much thought and energy about what I put into my mouth. I know now that my efforts to be "so healthy" were infact not healthy at all. I placed so many restrictions on myself that I really never noticed until I married Josh. Josh is an amazing cook, he loves who I am inluding what I feel are my "imperfections." I still try to eat healthy but I love LOVE a good ice cold Coke and a big slice of a hearty veggie pizza. To be honest, for years, I really got sick of everyone pointing out how "skinny" I am. Its an awkward compliment that I never really knew how to respond to. I feel now that since I'm slowly creeping up on 30, that I would like to look like a grown woman-as funny as that sounds! I'm kinda ready and have accepted growing some hips and not worrying so much about how I "think" I look. It's pretty liberating to be honest. In no way shape or form am I letting myself go just livin' a little wild and free right now, that's all!

What a summer!

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted! Oh my gosh, I don't even know where to begin. This has been the summer of all summers- so much going on, so many birthdays and 2 big job changes!

To start off with, I got a new job! I've previously been in the mortgage business for several years before Josh and I got married. Due to school and with how often we moved- every 6 months, literally- we have finally settled down here in Dallas...Lewisville specifically. We love it here! Anyway, back to the job. I came across the CEO of my old company who is now the VP of Nationstar Mortgage. He encouraged me to send over a resume and interview with them to see what happens. At first, it seemed as though they didn't care to interview me and when they did, I didn't get much feedback. I kinda got a little deflated but before I knew it- I had calls offering me a great position! I was surprised! They weren't even starting me out in entry level- they put me on a team of 5 out of 1200 people to work one of Nationstar's biggest, most important portfolios they hold! I have loved every minute of it- it's VERY hard work with VERY high expectations but I have had nothing but positive reviews from upper management. Being in the mortgage business is so difficult because their future is basically in your hands! They are trusting in me as their only hope to keep their family from being homeless but it's also very rewarding when you have their complete trust and cooperation.

As for Josh, he's is doing great! He's always so positive and motivated in the goals he sets for himself. He's had quite a few challenges this summer that were out of his control but he has grabbed ahold of those reigns and changed his course a little bit and is getting himself back on track almost effortlessly. Poor thing, we've had record breaking heat this summer which is STILL continuing...going on 60+ days, I think, of 100+ degree temperatures. I admire his dedication to his job and being successful despite how hard these days have been on him. I just love him so much! He also has begun classes again to finish up his last year of school. This year, it will be all online classes through Weber State. It's a little different for him but it works perfectly for our situation.

We both celebrated birthdays this month...well not so much "celebrated" but HAD birthdays this month. I'm 27 and he turned 25. In the life of employed adults- birthdays just take a back seat to the days work schedule. We may sneak away soon for a little weekend/downtown-stay and chill out. We both need it severely! On another note, we plan to start looking for a house here very soon! We are so excited and we're looking at potential cities to live in and what we're looking for in our new home. We can't wait to see whats out there!

As for Leo? Well, he's still Leo. Only cares about getting his treat in the mornings and waiting by the door for us when we get home and of course, cuddling as close as he can to us every night. We both still love him as though he was our son...pathetic, I know, but you pet owners know exactly what I'm talking about.

Other than this, not much has changed. Except for we moved again since we got here in April but thats nothing different. Its only our 6th or 7th move since we've been married. Understand yet why we're so excited to look for a house?? Yeah...

Oh, Happy Day...

I actually have a few things to post about this time! Impressive, eh? First off, I have not publicly congratulated my Mavs on their 2011 NBA Championships! I never have really kept up with any sport or even cared to watch it unless it's basketball...but not JUST basketball; MAVS basketball! This has been such a GREAT season and the playoff series was UNBELIEVABLE! Every single game was sooo close and just when you think the Mavs might not pull it off...don't walk away because they had a thing about coming in the during the last 2-3 minutes nailing every shot, ultimately winning the game! They are such classy players, their heads are in the game and not on money and endorsements, and they back eachother up! Something most teams can't do, especially the Heat! Congrats Coach Carlisle, Dirk, Jet, Kidd, Barea, and everyone else...you make Dallas proud!

On another great note, I finally got a job! A good job! A job that will help us get the kind of home we've been looking for and SOON! It's working for a mortgage company, which is nothing new to me but it's a great company, a company that isn't going anywhere anytime soon. A few people from my old job are even starting jobs there too which is awesome!!! I start on Thursday and of course, Ill have to train for about a week to learn their computer system but I am so excited. Great benefits, great pay and PLENTY of room for growth! Josh and I feel so content with life right now. These past few years have been nothing but stressful with moving every 4-6 months, no stability and very unpredictable when trying to plan for our future. Now it's basically unfolded before us and we couldn't be more pleased with how things have and will turn out.

One last VERY great note...I have been reunited with a childhood favorite called Bahama Bucks. THE BEST SNOWCONES IN THE COUNTRY, with the exception of Hawaii. Ha! Josh is in love...I am in love. They will be seeing us A LOT! And the best part of all, it's only 2 miles away from where we live!!! Should I be worried? Noooo, of course not. Should they be worried?

Yes, absolutely.

Grateful

Gratefulness has been the primary adjective that has described my life these past few years. I have so much to be thankful for. A wonderful husband who works so hard to provide for us and our dreams and who would do anything and everything to make me happy. We have wonderful families who support us and provide advice and direction when we need it. I'm thankful for the job opportunities we have come across the past few years that have helped contribute to our dreams of having a home, future family and the freedoms of being able to spend time together. I'm extremely thankful for our health and strength that we have to pursue our goals and things that are set before us. I grateful for my cat, Leo, he is the most sensitive animal who loves to just cuddle when you need a hug. He always puts a smile on my face. I am thankful for our countries freedoms that we enjoy and the ability we have to pursue an education, worship where we choose, and where women can participate and be as equal as men. I am thankful for the trials that I have endured, they have definately helped me to grow as a person and to reshape my perspective on life and who I am. I am grateful for being grateful, how hard would it be going through life not being grateful? I think it's so important to recognize your blessings because without those, we have nothing.

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears”- Anthony Robbins

Happy Memorial Day, thank you to all the men and women who do what you do and face challenges every minute of every day for our country. Stay safe and may you return to your homes soon.

Oprah emailed me!!!

I sent Oprah a quick email yesterday, thanking her for all the years of inspiration and dedication to her fans. Not expecting a response, I woke up this morning seeing an email in my inbox from "Oprah Winfrey" entitled, "Thank You."

I couldn't get it to download onto this thing so I'll just copy and paste...

Thank you
Thursday, May 26, 2011 12:00 AM
From: This sender is DomainKeys verified "Oprah Winfrey" oprah@oprah.com
To: a.ladner@SBCGLOBAL.NET

Allayna,
Got your email.

Thank you for watching the finale. I could feel your beating hearts, along with mine, through the TV screen.
I'm off to take a little rest, and then I'll get busy working on OWN.

Take care of yourself.

I'll write soon,
Oprah

"In your own way, you can illuminate the world"

In this day and age, a great amount of respect has been lost. Hopes have been shattered; dreams, smothered. Faith remains with few but only by a mere fiber.

As rare as it has become, there are a few great people in this world. Great examples on how to be human who continue to have hope, faith and respect for humanity.

I am inspired by the example of Oprah Winfrey. Her selflessness, diligence and love for all mankind. She sees nothing but hope in each day, each event and in each life she encounters. I may not ever have my own television show, millions of dollars, or the profoundness she has in speaking but through observation; that is all irrelevant when it comes to making a difference in the world of others.

Where are the rest of the "Oprah's" of our world? Do they exist? We can only hope. I know that I have a renewed perspective in the ability I have to make a difference in someones life. I will try each day to be a better person than I was yesterday. I will see the suns rays through the rain and I most definitely will not give up on myself and the things I wish to achieve.

"What I knew for sure from this experience with you is that we are all called. Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it."

I endlessly thank you for that example and inspiration...

Wah-lah!!

Remember the necklace from the previous post?? So, instead of spending $300, which I wouldn't do anyway because that's just ridiculous, I paid $5.50 for this beauty! I love being a thrifty shopper, it's so fun!