As a lot of my family knows, ever since I was in middle school, I LIVED and BREATHED my dream of modeling. I watched what I ate down to each crumb, only drank water, did about 200 crunches a day, watched every single Victorias Secret Fashion Show and did my best to make sure I looked as perfect as I could...for YEARS! In fact, well into my 20's and even still to this day to some extent. I can firmly say I never had any type of eating disorder nor would I even dare go to that extent but I cried the day the scale hit 110lbs. Needed to cut back even more...this was who I needed to be.
not so much anymore...
Believe it or not, Crystal Renn is a plus-sized model. I know now that I would much rather look like her and be happy than stress about every meal to look like Miranda Kerr. I'm 27, I have realized that I was trying so SO hard in the past that I really missed out on a lot and wasted so much thought and energy about what I put into my mouth. I know now that my efforts to be "so healthy" were infact not healthy at all. I placed so many restrictions on myself that I really never noticed until I married Josh. Josh is an amazing cook, he loves who I am inluding what I feel are my "imperfections." I still try to eat healthy but I love LOVE a good ice cold Coke and a big slice of a hearty veggie pizza. To be honest, for years, I really got sick of everyone pointing out how "skinny" I am. Its an awkward compliment that I never really knew how to respond to. I feel now that since I'm slowly creeping up on 30, that I would like to look like a grown woman-as funny as that sounds! I'm kinda ready and have accepted growing some hips and not worrying so much about how I "think" I look. It's pretty liberating to be honest. In no way shape or form am I letting myself go just livin' a little wild and free right now, that's all!
