Livin' Wild & Free...

As a lot of my family knows, ever since I was in middle school, I LIVED and BREATHED my dream of modeling. I watched what I ate down to each crumb, only drank water, did about 200 crunches a day, watched every single Victorias Secret Fashion Show and did my best to make sure I looked as perfect as I could...for YEARS! In fact, well into my 20's and even still to this day to some extent. I can firmly say I never had any type of eating disorder nor would I even dare go to that extent but I cried the day the scale hit 110lbs. Needed to cut back even more...this was who I needed to be.

not so much anymore...

Believe it or not, Crystal Renn is a plus-sized model. I know now that I would much rather look like her and be happy than stress about every meal to look like Miranda Kerr. I'm 27, I have realized that I was trying so SO hard in the past that I really missed out on a lot and wasted so much thought and energy about what I put into my mouth. I know now that my efforts to be "so healthy" were infact not healthy at all. I placed so many restrictions on myself that I really never noticed until I married Josh. Josh is an amazing cook, he loves who I am inluding what I feel are my "imperfections." I still try to eat healthy but I love LOVE a good ice cold Coke and a big slice of a hearty veggie pizza. To be honest, for years, I really got sick of everyone pointing out how "skinny" I am. Its an awkward compliment that I never really knew how to respond to. I feel now that since I'm slowly creeping up on 30, that I would like to look like a grown woman-as funny as that sounds! I'm kinda ready and have accepted growing some hips and not worrying so much about how I "think" I look. It's pretty liberating to be honest. In no way shape or form am I letting myself go just livin' a little wild and free right now, that's all!

What a summer!

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted! Oh my gosh, I don't even know where to begin. This has been the summer of all summers- so much going on, so many birthdays and 2 big job changes!

To start off with, I got a new job! I've previously been in the mortgage business for several years before Josh and I got married. Due to school and with how often we moved- every 6 months, literally- we have finally settled down here in Dallas...Lewisville specifically. We love it here! Anyway, back to the job. I came across the CEO of my old company who is now the VP of Nationstar Mortgage. He encouraged me to send over a resume and interview with them to see what happens. At first, it seemed as though they didn't care to interview me and when they did, I didn't get much feedback. I kinda got a little deflated but before I knew it- I had calls offering me a great position! I was surprised! They weren't even starting me out in entry level- they put me on a team of 5 out of 1200 people to work one of Nationstar's biggest, most important portfolios they hold! I have loved every minute of it- it's VERY hard work with VERY high expectations but I have had nothing but positive reviews from upper management. Being in the mortgage business is so difficult because their future is basically in your hands! They are trusting in me as their only hope to keep their family from being homeless but it's also very rewarding when you have their complete trust and cooperation.

As for Josh, he's is doing great! He's always so positive and motivated in the goals he sets for himself. He's had quite a few challenges this summer that were out of his control but he has grabbed ahold of those reigns and changed his course a little bit and is getting himself back on track almost effortlessly. Poor thing, we've had record breaking heat this summer which is STILL continuing...going on 60+ days, I think, of 100+ degree temperatures. I admire his dedication to his job and being successful despite how hard these days have been on him. I just love him so much! He also has begun classes again to finish up his last year of school. This year, it will be all online classes through Weber State. It's a little different for him but it works perfectly for our situation.

We both celebrated birthdays this month...well not so much "celebrated" but HAD birthdays this month. I'm 27 and he turned 25. In the life of employed adults- birthdays just take a back seat to the days work schedule. We may sneak away soon for a little weekend/downtown-stay and chill out. We both need it severely! On another note, we plan to start looking for a house here very soon! We are so excited and we're looking at potential cities to live in and what we're looking for in our new home. We can't wait to see whats out there!

As for Leo? Well, he's still Leo. Only cares about getting his treat in the mornings and waiting by the door for us when we get home and of course, cuddling as close as he can to us every night. We both still love him as though he was our son...pathetic, I know, but you pet owners know exactly what I'm talking about.

Other than this, not much has changed. Except for we moved again since we got here in April but thats nothing different. Its only our 6th or 7th move since we've been married. Understand yet why we're so excited to look for a house?? Yeah...

Oh, Happy Day...

I actually have a few things to post about this time! Impressive, eh? First off, I have not publicly congratulated my Mavs on their 2011 NBA Championships! I never have really kept up with any sport or even cared to watch it unless it's basketball...but not JUST basketball; MAVS basketball! This has been such a GREAT season and the playoff series was UNBELIEVABLE! Every single game was sooo close and just when you think the Mavs might not pull it off...don't walk away because they had a thing about coming in the during the last 2-3 minutes nailing every shot, ultimately winning the game! They are such classy players, their heads are in the game and not on money and endorsements, and they back eachother up! Something most teams can't do, especially the Heat! Congrats Coach Carlisle, Dirk, Jet, Kidd, Barea, and everyone else...you make Dallas proud!

On another great note, I finally got a job! A good job! A job that will help us get the kind of home we've been looking for and SOON! It's working for a mortgage company, which is nothing new to me but it's a great company, a company that isn't going anywhere anytime soon. A few people from my old job are even starting jobs there too which is awesome!!! I start on Thursday and of course, Ill have to train for about a week to learn their computer system but I am so excited. Great benefits, great pay and PLENTY of room for growth! Josh and I feel so content with life right now. These past few years have been nothing but stressful with moving every 4-6 months, no stability and very unpredictable when trying to plan for our future. Now it's basically unfolded before us and we couldn't be more pleased with how things have and will turn out.

One last VERY great note...I have been reunited with a childhood favorite called Bahama Bucks. THE BEST SNOWCONES IN THE COUNTRY, with the exception of Hawaii. Ha! Josh is in love...I am in love. They will be seeing us A LOT! And the best part of all, it's only 2 miles away from where we live!!! Should I be worried? Noooo, of course not. Should they be worried?

Yes, absolutely.

Grateful

Gratefulness has been the primary adjective that has described my life these past few years. I have so much to be thankful for. A wonderful husband who works so hard to provide for us and our dreams and who would do anything and everything to make me happy. We have wonderful families who support us and provide advice and direction when we need it. I'm thankful for the job opportunities we have come across the past few years that have helped contribute to our dreams of having a home, future family and the freedoms of being able to spend time together. I'm extremely thankful for our health and strength that we have to pursue our goals and things that are set before us. I grateful for my cat, Leo, he is the most sensitive animal who loves to just cuddle when you need a hug. He always puts a smile on my face. I am thankful for our countries freedoms that we enjoy and the ability we have to pursue an education, worship where we choose, and where women can participate and be as equal as men. I am thankful for the trials that I have endured, they have definately helped me to grow as a person and to reshape my perspective on life and who I am. I am grateful for being grateful, how hard would it be going through life not being grateful? I think it's so important to recognize your blessings because without those, we have nothing.

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears”- Anthony Robbins

Happy Memorial Day, thank you to all the men and women who do what you do and face challenges every minute of every day for our country. Stay safe and may you return to your homes soon.

Oprah emailed me!!!

I sent Oprah a quick email yesterday, thanking her for all the years of inspiration and dedication to her fans. Not expecting a response, I woke up this morning seeing an email in my inbox from "Oprah Winfrey" entitled, "Thank You."

I couldn't get it to download onto this thing so I'll just copy and paste...

Thank you
Thursday, May 26, 2011 12:00 AM
From: This sender is DomainKeys verified "Oprah Winfrey" oprah@oprah.com
To: a.ladner@SBCGLOBAL.NET

Allayna,
Got your email.

Thank you for watching the finale. I could feel your beating hearts, along with mine, through the TV screen.
I'm off to take a little rest, and then I'll get busy working on OWN.

Take care of yourself.

I'll write soon,
Oprah

"In your own way, you can illuminate the world"

In this day and age, a great amount of respect has been lost. Hopes have been shattered; dreams, smothered. Faith remains with few but only by a mere fiber.

As rare as it has become, there are a few great people in this world. Great examples on how to be human who continue to have hope, faith and respect for humanity.

I am inspired by the example of Oprah Winfrey. Her selflessness, diligence and love for all mankind. She sees nothing but hope in each day, each event and in each life she encounters. I may not ever have my own television show, millions of dollars, or the profoundness she has in speaking but through observation; that is all irrelevant when it comes to making a difference in the world of others.

Where are the rest of the "Oprah's" of our world? Do they exist? We can only hope. I know that I have a renewed perspective in the ability I have to make a difference in someones life. I will try each day to be a better person than I was yesterday. I will see the suns rays through the rain and I most definitely will not give up on myself and the things I wish to achieve.

"What I knew for sure from this experience with you is that we are all called. Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it."

I endlessly thank you for that example and inspiration...

Wah-lah!!

Remember the necklace from the previous post?? So, instead of spending $300, which I wouldn't do anyway because that's just ridiculous, I paid $5.50 for this beauty! I love being a thrifty shopper, it's so fun!

Things I love at the moment.

Doesn't this bed look so cozy?!! I could lay in bed with my babe all day in this thing!!!

I've always been a huge fan of bohemian peasant tops, this one, I adore... 

I know it's summer and 90 degrees already but I love these MASSIVELY chunky scarves.

 Um, this chair is beautiful! So simple but so chic and fabulous and the same time- a motto I strive to live by though chic and fabulous may not always be appearant.

 Navajo beads...I know, I'm Choctaw but still...I love this necklace! Wouldn't this look great with my many pairs of jeans and white T's?? Yeah, I thought so too.

 I want this quilt! I'm a huge fan of cozy'ing up in a good blanket no matter what time of the year it is and this one is adorable! I love these colors. I need to learn to sew...BAD!

 I need a place to go so I can wear this dress, pronto! SO FABULOUS and this just so happens to be my favorite style/fit of a gown. In love!

 Oh my, serenity! I could not live without a bath tub and this my friends, I MIGHT just die whether I do get one or not!
 

You might say I have too much time on my hands but I have replaced spending the majority of my free time on Facebook to looking at the things that make me happy and help me use my creative juices! I have an entire list of crafts that I NEED to complete by the end of the summer! Ooh, it makes me so happy...

Where has the time gone?!

It's been awhile since I've had actual events take place to blog about...usually it's just my ramblings! Where to begin...

My parents, grandparents, aunt and uncle came to Utah a few weeks ago to celebrate my sister, Devin's graduation from Dental Hygiene school. My mom booked a vacation home for all of us at the Sundance Resort and had so much fun! It was so good to have everyone together and to just chill out and enjoy being together. As of late, all of our get togethers have consisted of weddings where everything is so rushed that we hardly get to sit down and enjoy it! Dad took some family pictures...

Josh and I also finished up a semester at Weber State. I have to say that Weber is by far the best school to attend. I have nothing but good things to say about it. I took a few of my harder classes and still managed to get nothing less than a B+. No need to ask Josh how he did though because he'll probably tell you he got a 4.0 before you even ask! I'm so jealous...I wish it was as easy for me! ha.

We also, right after my family's visit and finals, packed up our lives and moved again. Yes, again! Our lives are never boring, thats for sure. But we are finally back in Texas. After much excitement and anticipation, it feels SO GOOD to be back home. We are living in Lewisville which is about 30 minutes north of downtown and 30 minutes north of my parents. We're all settled and are managing to put together our summer routines again. This summer is going to be an amazing summer! We have so much hope in meeting our goals this year and it's completely comforting. Josh is loving his transition to the new alarm sales comapany, Elite Home Security and they have been nothing but great and so accomodating for us. We also have some other really GREAT news that has to do with this job but I won't share just yet until it's finalized and Josh gives me the okay to announce it.

My sister, Dev and her husband, Dallas will be moving here in the next few weeks as well!!! They will live in Plano which is 20 minutes north of where we are. SO CLOSE!!! We have tons of plans for crafts and pool days...it's going to be so fun to spend this summer together since we were always so busy before that we rarely got to see one another.

Yes, we still have Leo. He travels where ever we go...he basically doesn't leave our sides. Literally. Even when you take a shower, he's sitting on the bath mat until you get out. We still love him to death and it's so funny to see Josh and him "bond" after Josh has been at work all day. He's still currently our only child and will be for the next little while. Our home would be empty without him.

Other than this, it's all I can think of at the moment...there's bound to be more posts soon. Summer's are always full of good times.

Oh, the places we want to go...

White Villages in Santori, Greece

and here...

Italy

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” 

Henry Miller

Vegan? What is that? and why?!

When I was in middle school/high school, I was very conscious about what I put in my mouth. Some people might think, "that's too much to think about" or "that takes the fun out of eating." I'll be the first to attest that "no it's not" and "no it's not." Even if it was, isn't that a good thing...I mean, HELLO?! You're putting that stuff in your body! That's what keeps you alive...or what's going to kill you, I'll let you decide. I have never felt more active/energetic and more content with my body than I did during those years. Those are the years that are most awkward for us but I took pride in how I looked, felt and most importantly, my eating habits.

Well, here I am, give or take 10 years later and feeling so unsatisfied with myself. Not necessarily my looks (because that's not necessarily what this is about) but more in my energy level, the realization that aging is going to start kicking in any day now, and especially because I'm going to bear children in the not too distant future. I feel the need for change. I need to step it up and off the laziness scale and get with it again.

Don't get me wrong, I have loved a good burger or a good sandwich...but in almost every instance, I get the nagging feeling that "I shouldn't have eaten that" or "I'm going to have to work out 5x's as hard for that 5 minutes of pleasure." It's to the point that those thoughts aren't worth what initiated it to begin with.

With that said, I have decided to alter my eating habits. Starting this morning for breakfast, I became a vegan. Something I've wanted to do for years but since marrying a carnivore who loves to cook, almost made it impossible. Well I'm doing it anyway. I need to do it for me. Don't worry babe, Ill still cook you meat...I just don't want any part of it. I won't miss it. I haven't been the biggest fan of meat for a long time so I don't feel like I'm going without at all. The only thing I won't have is meat, dairy and eggs or anything that contains animal products. Totally fine by me! It's almost like a detox really, because most of the fat American's eat is from those things I'll be cutting out.

I've had a few people bring up the point, "isn't that against the commandments" or "that's why God gave us animals." Well murder, especially the way today's factory farmhouses "prepare animal products" is against the commandments. I'll spare you the details but really, the production of today's animal products is, what I'm sure, the way God didn't intend.

I'm not looking for disputes, or reasons why I shouldn't do this; I simply wanted to share why I CHOSE to do this. :)

A little about me at this moment...

Candy: DOVE Milk Chocolate or Chewy Sweet Tarts. The Sweet Tarts are long time favorite; my daddy always buys me one...)

Soda: strictly Coca-Cola! Although, I don’t have one everyday. Absolutely none of that diet stuff...

Show: anything on HGTV, I get so many good design ideas! I love the Kardashians too…

Favorite I-Pod Playlist: “Current Fav’s”

            Sia- Breathe Me

            Mumford and Sons- entire “Sigh No More” album

            The Asteroid Galaxy Tour- The Golden Age

            Better Than Ezra- Breathless

            Katy Perry- ET & Fireworks

            Ke$ha- Crazy Beautiful Life & Blah Blah Blah

            Matt and Kim- Daylight

            Natasha Bedingfield- Strip Me

            Adele- Rolling In the Deep

            Flickerstick- Beautiful (long time favorite- Dallas local band)

Lady Antebellum- I Run To You & Need You Now

Time of the Day: evening. LOVE my baths and chilling out

Snack: Swiss Miss Chocolate Swirl Pudding, fruit or chips and salsa

Cosmetic: Neutrogena Naturals Lip Balm and Mascara

Websites: online magazines- Real Simple, Women’s Health, House Beautiful

Dream Job: Interior designer/organizational expert or apart of the creative team for Nordstrom’s or Neiman Marcus in downtown Dallas.

Pet Peeve: clutter and things on the floor

Restaurant: Whataburger (Texas) or Toscano’s Italian Bistro

Things that are important to me: accept & befriend those who are different than me and to forgive.

I’m proud: to be Mormon, to be an American, to be Native American and to be a domestic abuse survivor so that I can experience and appreciate my amazingly loving and devoted husband.

Book: The Travelers Gift by Andy Andrews

Thing to do: 4-wheeling with Josh in the mountains when the suns going down or lying in bed at night talking.

Makes me laugh: Josh’s little voices he makes, Leo getting as close to me as he can whenever I sit down or when he yells at me for his treat.

Hobbies: Cleaning/organizing, decorating and finding as many cute clothes as I can for my money (i.e. bargain shopping) Why the hell would you spend $200 on jeans?! Waste.

Something I wish I was better at:  not being so OCD about little irrelevant things.

Vacation: I LOVED Hawaii and do plan to visit again soon! Turks and Caicos/ Nassau were pretty fabulous too…

Quote: “Life is not waiting for the storms to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”- Vivian Greene

P.S. I do this for journaling purposes only...and so my kids can look back years from now and realize how normal I used to be. ;)

The Latest...

It's been a few weeks since I last posted anything but not a whole lot has really happened! This past week I have been SO SICK! I think I caught Bronchitis from my sister and it seemed to hit me HARD! I ran fever for 3 days, body aches like you wouldn't believe and lungs that burned with every breath. It was NOT FUN. Yesterday was the first day that I felt decent and managed to make it to the doctor. He said it should be clearing up because my lungs didn't sound too bad anymore, thankfully! Today I feel great except that I get winded pretty easily and I can't shake this cough for the life of me!

Also, news to post is that we're headed back to Texas this summer! I'm sure everyone already knows but it's still blog worthy because afterall, I'm headed back home! We will be in Lewisville which is about 45 minutes north of my family and I could not be happier. Last year, we we're in Houston which is a 4 hour drive; I did not complain about that one bit because I was at least in the great state of Texas. I'm just happy that I'll be in the metroplex! HALLELUJAH! I love the sight of this skyline...Home Sweet Home.

This last news update is a sad one. On Friday, March 11th; Japan suffered one of the most devastating natural disasters in it's history. A 8.9 magnitude earthquake was recorded in Sendai, Japan and was soon followed by a massive tsunami that just about wiped Japan off the map. As of today, 2 days later, an estimated 10,000 people have been killed. Not to mention that the death toll will still continue to climb through the coming months as rubble and debris get cleaned up. To add to the devastation, they are expecting a few more severe aftershocks as well as several unstable nuclear power plants. It is so sad and my heart goes out to those affected by this tragedy.

Japan, you are in my prayers!

I LOVEEEEEE YOGA!!!

As most of us know, I'm not very athletic or coordinated when it comes to anything athletic but I have become quite the believer in Yoga! I have been taking a Hatha Yoga class on campus this semester, we meet for an hour twice a week and just in the time that school has started, about 7 weeks ago; I have so much more flexibility, I don't get stressed out as easily, I physically feel better, I have toned up a lot and have better posture and I even sleep better at night.
It's a lot easier than some people might think. I thought we had to be super flexible going into that class to be successful but I've learned that these poses are made to improve flexibility even if you don't have any at all. I seriously suggest taking a yoga class whether it's from a gym, school or a yoga studio...I'm not kidding when I say it's probably the best thing since Nutella! (we all know how much I love Nutella.)

Here are a few of my favorite poses:

Downward Facing Dog:

 

Benefits: Strengthens arms, shoulders, quads; stretches shoulders, chest, hamstrings, calves; keeps spine flexible  

Helps: Fatigue, mental alertness

Any of the Warrior poses- I, II, III or Reversed Warrior

Benefits: Strengthens core, legs, ankles; lengthens spine  

Helps: Poor posture, weak knees, endurance

 Side Plank:

Benefits: Strengthens wrist, abs, legs  
Helps: A scattered mind

Half Moon:

Benefits: Strengthens back, glutes, legs; keeps spine flexible  

Helps: Insecurity

 

Crow  

 

Benefits: Strengthens arms, shoulders, chest, abs, upper back  

Helps: Poor balance, a scattered mind

I found on WomensHealth.com a whole section dedicated to Yoga with all the benefits, poses, ailments it cures...EVERYTHING! Look it up and give it try!

Namaste!

"All Things Connect..."

 I've been more curious than ever lately about my heritage in being a government registered, one-quarter, Choctaw Indian. This entry is for me, for journaling; so I can look back and remember where I came from. Also, to see the sacrifices of so many for me to be here and have the wonderful life that I do.

My ancestors were primarily from Oklahoma with many current relatives still there to this day. I have found that Choctaw chief Allen Wright (1826-1885) suggested Oklahoma (okla "man" and humma "red"- land of the red man) as the name of the new territory. I spent many days there growing up and when I'm back home, still go as often as I can. Our family has many acres of land, 88 of them being Indian Treaty land. My great-grandmother, Mattie, was awarded 8.8 acres per child, which is for 10 kids. This is a picture of my great-grandmother Mattie and her husband, Sylvester Ladner. Mattie died in 1924 in her mid-twenties, when my grandfather, Andrew, was about six weeks old. Sylvester later married, Audry, who raised Mattie's 3 children and had 7 additional of her own. These pictures of both Mattie and Audry are the first and only pictures I have ever seen of them. All of which are buried together in the Jimtown Cemetary of Love Co. Oklahoma.

Mattie (1895-1924)

Audry (1897-1981)

Sylvester Ladner (1893-1972)

My grandfather, Andrew (1924-2000)

A little history on Choctaw Indians: the word Choctaw is derived from the Choctaw phrase, "Hacha Hatak," meaning river people. They were known as one of the "Five Civilized Tribes" because they adopted and integrated numerous cultural and technological practices of their European American colonial neighbors.

In 1831, U.S. President Andrew Jackson, who was given the name of "Sharp Knife" by the Choctaw people, made the Choctaw's the first Native Americans to travel on the Trail of Tears. The Choctaw were exiled (to the area now called Oklahoma) because the U.S. wanted to expand territory for settlement to European Americans, wanted to save them from extinction, and wanted to acquire their natural resources. 

This is a sculpture by James Earle Frazer called "The End of the Trail" which was inspired by poetry from Marion Manville Pope, "The trail is lost, the path is hid, and winds that blow from out the ages sweep me on to that chill borderland where Time’s spent sands engulf lost peoples and lost trails.”

In World War I, they served in the U.S. military as the first Native American code talkers against the Germans, using the Choctaw language as a natural code.

George Washington (first U.S. President) and Henry Knox (first U.S. Secretary of War) proposed the cultural transformation of Native Americans. Washington believed that Native Americans were equals but that their society was inferior to that of the European Americans. He formulated a policy to encourage the "civilizing" process, and Thomas Jefferson continued it. Washington's six-point plan included impartial justice toward Indians; regulated buying of Indian lands; promotion of commerce; promotion of experiments to civilize or improve Indian society; presidential authority to give presents; and punishing those who violated Indian rights. The government appointed agent, Benjamin Hawkins, to live among the Indians and to teach them through example and instruction, how to live like whites. The Choctaws accepted Washington's policy as they established schools, adopted modern farming practices, converted to Christianity, and built houses like their colonial neighbors.

"We have long heard of your nation as a numerous, peaceable, and friendly people; but this is the first visit we have had from its great men at the seat of our government. I welcome you here; am glad to take you by the hand, and to assure you, for your nation, that we are their friends. Born in the same land, we ought to live as brothers, doing to each other all the good we can, and not listening to wicked men, who may endeavor to make us enemies..." —President Thomas Jefferson, Brothers of the Choctaw Nation, December 17, 1803

The US government set up the Dawes Commission to manage the land allotment policy. Beginning in 1894, the Dawes Commission was established to register Choctaw and other families of the Indian Territory, so that the former tribal lands could be properly distributed among them. The final list included 18,981 citizens of the Choctaw Nation, 1,639 Mississippi Choctaw, and 5,994 former slaves, most held by Choctaws in the Indian/Oklahoma Territory.

Chata Anumpa (Choctaw): Hattak yuka keyu hokυtto yakohmit itibachυfat hieli kυt, nan isht imaiυlhpiesa atokmυt itilawashke; yohmi ha hattak nana hohkia, keyukmυt kanohmi hohkia okla moma nana isht aim aiυlhpiesa, micha isht aimaiυlhtoba he aima ka kanohmi bano hosh isht ik imaiυlhpieso kashke. Amba moma kυt nana isht imachukma chi ho tuksυli hokmakashke.
English Language: That all free men, when they form a special compact, are equal in rights, and that no man or set of men are entitled to exclusive, separate public emolument or privileges from the community, but in consideration of public services.

The Choctaws believed in a good spirit and an evil spirit. They may have been sun, or Hushtahli, worshipers. The historian Swanton wrote, "The Choctaws anciently regarded the sun as a deity ... the sun was ascribed the power of life and death. He was represented as looking down upon the earth, and as long as he kept his flaming eye fixed on any one, the person was safe ... fire, as the most striking representation of the sun, was considered as possessing intelligence, and as acting in concert with the sun ... having constant intercourse with the sun ..." The word nanpisa (the one who sees) expressed the reverence the Choctaw had for the sun.

I hold a high regard to my ancestors for their struggles, their battles, but yet their respect for each other as well as those of "other lands."  I can only aspire to be the least bit as strong of a person as they were. From their perseverance and determination for a future, we now have a Choctaw Nation going strong today with at least 160,000 registered Choctaw Indians. 

"Humankind has not woven the web of life.
We are but one thread within it.
Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves.
All things are bound together.
All things connect."

Chief Seattle, 1854

Just a lil' update!

Well we are already in the 3rd week of January and a lot has happened! That could mean one of two things; this is going to be an eventful year or I'm just being lazy and my pretty chill schedule is proving to be a little much...which I don't think it's the second.

Josh and I have started our semester at Weber State and I have to say that it was not what I expected! I expected a little tougher classes, longer days, and professors with sticks up their bums. Little did I know that I would have easier classes- one that does not give tests/finals or quizzes (Anthropology) and another class that we perform meditation and "power naps" (stress management) and then a Hatha yoga class (all with awesome professors!) I also am taking a math and a biology class. Biology might be a challenge only because my professor is from France so she "zounds zike zis!" Its tough when she's talking a thousand miles an hour about homeostasis, epithelial tissues and all aspects of cells. Anyway, I'm not complaining because I'm done with school everyday by 12:30 and 9:30am on Fridays. I'm really enjoying it!

Another thing that I have been working really hard at is exercising, with an emphasis on running. I've always loved to work out but living in Ephraim made me pretty lazy because there was nothing there. We joined an awesome gym here in Ogden that offered unlimited tanning, massage chairs and workouts for $20 a month. I go just about every day for about an hour, and for the first time, have been so consistent. I have seen major results, more so in my endurance. I actually really enjoy running and those words have never escaped these lips before.

We enjoy living here in Ogden with Josh's grandparents. We tried getting our own apartment this semester but because we leave the state for Josh's job every summer, it was hard finding an apartment that offered short-term leases. It has all worked out perfectly though!

Well that's all that has changed here with the exception of a new haircut tomorrow- I'm gonna get back to painting my toes and watching the Golden Globes...why am I such a sucker for fashion and celebs.

My New Year's Resolutions

As I previously posted, we've had a few up's and down's over this holiday break...more down's than up's though unfortunately. We had Grandma Clark's funeral this past Thursday, it was such a great service! The weather was cold but it very sunny, a lot of good memories were shared, and I met a lot of family that I hadn't met yet. The funeral slightly reminded me of my Mimi and Poppy Ladner's funeral a few years ago. Although, I'm still not too sure if it had anything to do with all the "cowboy attire" most people had on.

I LOVED and still do love my grandparents very much and think about them quite often. Through thinking about them and then hearing of the kind of woman Grandma Clark was, really made me think of what people will say about me at my funeral (hopefully quite a few years down the road...)
I know I can be short-tempered, slightly OCD with keeping our place clean, I am definitely a complainer no matter how hard I try not to be, and I'm not the best cook but I've learned that being the best person you can be is the trick to getting "good reviews" when that day comes.

I'm going to practice my cooking because I have no reason not to be a good cook- we have a real stove and don't have to use a wood burning one. I'm not going to complain so much because I don't have a pump water or wash laundry in a basin. I'm going to continue with keeping the house clean but not be so quick to anger when the floor needs to be swept again the next day. Afterall, the house is the only thing I need to keep clean because we don't have a farm or chicken coop to deal with so it could be worse. I live close to conveniences and don't have to grow and harvest every single necessity.

We have life so easy these days that we tend to get upset when life almost isn't handed to us or that it's not "easy enough!" Challenges build character and I want to have a lot of character like my grandparents and especially Grandma Clark- she was a lil' firecracker! I want to be an example. If a little old woman like Grandma Clark and a partially paralyzed Mimi Francis and an old, cheerful Indian man like Poppy Ladner can make such a significant impact on people's lives, then I know that I can too.

So as my New Year has begun, I now welcome challenges and challenge myself to tread right through them with as much strength and optimism that I can muster! Life is too short to not learn more about yourself and your capabilities. I choose to have a more cheerful and happy disposition, less grumpiness. I will work hard for myself and our future family. I will also find time to enjoy life's simplest pleasures with those that I love and also by myself. May you too, find your challenges as character builders and not unwelcomed events. Happy New Year to everyone...and to you, 2011, please don't be too rough on us.

A very different Christmas...

This Christmas was a hard one for me. It was the first time in "Allayna history" that I wasn't home for the holidays. Usually we do Thanksgiving with Josh's family and Christmas with mine but considering we were in the middle of exams and moving from Ephraim to Ogden, Utah, there really wasn't much time for travel...we hardly had time to buy Christmas presents! What made it even harder was knowing that none of my other sisters who live in other parts of Utah weren't going to make it home either. It made my heart hurt even worse for my parents and my youngest sister who is the only one left at home; just the thought of Christmas for my parents and Candace seemed lonely.

I do love Josh's family so much though, so if I couldn't be at home then this is the place I'd want to be. Since we moved to Ogden, we've been living with Josh's grandparents who also take care of his great-grandmother, Grandma Clark. She is a hilarious woman, though I don't think she ever tried to be...she just was. Over Thanksgiving, we've noticed her health going down hill fairly quick. She's 92 so she's definitely had a long life. Since moving in with them about a week ago, she became for the most part immobile, very weak and uncomfortable. It was so hard to watch, we all love her! To add to a heavy heart from being away from home on Christmas, Grandma Clark passed away in her bed on Christmas morning.

The thought kept occurring to me throughout Christmas day that she went so long being without her husband,  parents and siblings that she finally gets to have a "Christmas Morning" with them again but in heaven and she's healthy...how perfect that must be for her. I figured that one Christmas for me away from my home was okay because I know I'll see them again soon. Despite the loss, we had a great Christmas. We all hugged each other a little tighter that day, something I think we all needed, all for different reasons. Thank you Grandma Clark.

 On a lighter note, I got some good gifts this year!

 Smashbox lip gloss in Baby Pout- my fav!

Columbia Wind Groove Fleece (almost like VELVET!) Jacket 

Simply Vera by Vera Wang Shoes

 Really cute scarf, shirt and headband from my little sister

My purse that I got as an early Christmas present

AND...

this beautiful diamond necklace from my babe! Thank you so much, I love it and I LOVE YOU!

 I hope everyone had a VERY Merry Christmas this year, it'll be here again before we know it!

Movin' on...

So long Snow College, it's been nice knowin' ya...

Dear Weber State, please be nice to me...

I'm quitting the clean-plate club!

Oh, motivation, where have you been?

Not that any of you care, this just needs to be documented for my own personal use...

 Come March, I will look like this!

I have always tried really hard to keep myself in shape but as of this past summer, I have had absolutely no desire to work out. My eating habits have even slipped quite a bit. That's just not like me and I'm not happy with myself in that regard.

So, my thanks go to Thanksgiving for amping up my desire to get back to pre-wedding shape. I also have a cruise in March to look forward to and to use as my deadline.

This is how I plan to achieve this:

-lots of water and VitaminWaters (I love those!)

-more fruit/veggies

-whole wheat breads (no white enriched crap)

-lean meats (chicken, minimal steak, pork loin, turkey)

-less eating out (limit to once a week)

-I'm not going to deprive myself so I'll still have a few sweets but only in moderation

-work out 4-5 times a week for at least 1 hour (I'll make up a work-out schedule)

-prioritize my time- less tv/down time, more studying/reading, going on walks, gym

-take my Flinestones daily (yes, I do still take those- I love them!)